Cry easily, like a little child
In 2013, after my husband passed away, I stayed for several weeks in my daughter’s home.
My granddaughter, Miranda spent a great deal of time with me and was such healing medicine.
She loves to sing and I would videotape her ‘performances’.
One day, I was lying in bed, taping her, and she switched from a song she knew and began improvising a song about John and me.
I had two stuffed animals, a male and female monkey, that John and I kept in our bedroom at home and I had brought along with us.
After John died I gave them to Miranda.
As she was singing she picked up both the monkeys and began a song about how one was me and one was Papa John and ‘they were happy and lived in Florida by the ocean’, then she began to cry and threw the male monkey across the room and cried out, ‘then Papa John died and now Gramma Donna will live all alone.’
Grief stricken, she looked up at me and choked out the words, ‘I really miss Papa John. I wish he didn’t have to die.’
Then she ran to me and jumped in my arms. I held her while she sobbed and sobbed as I cried silently. I just let her cry until she was done crying.
She then proceeded to bounce back to her joy filled, happy, energetic self and wanted to play a game.
This is how we are inherently programmed to grieve our losses.
I wish I could just cry and not stop myself. The moment Bob passed I payed my head on his chest and sobbed until his son told me to sit down and I did. The moment was gone. He was not there when he passed.
Cheryl, People grieve in their own unique way. Crying is one way to grieve and let out the pent-up emotions, but it’s not the only way.
I happen to be “a crier” — I will have a good cry or a raging “pity-party” and then I feel better. My mother, on the other hand, does not cry (in fact I cannot remember when or if I’ve seen her cry — maybe she does but keeps it all to herself). My point is: grieve in your own way. If you want to cry, then cry. If not, then grieve the way that will be healing for you.
Love you and praying for you!! Kathy