Your Emotional Needs

I’m writing today’s post in response to a question from one of my readers. She had read my post from a few days ago in which I had listed the “Top 10 List” of self-care for caregivers.
In that list I had mentioned that the caregiver must take care of her/his emotional needs and not ignore emotions which have the potential to become more serious, such as in depression or anxiety.
So, her question to me was, “How do you care for your emotional needs?”
The answer to that actually depends upon the caregiver, so there are probably as many answers as there are caregivers. By this I mean that what worked for me might not work as well for you. The key is to be in tune with your emotions, what you are feeling or needing and why you feel that way. And whatever the emotional need is, once identified, do not ignore it!
I asked a few friends who were/are caregivers, plus I have my own list, so I will give the short list of how we take care of our emotional needs.
Most of us agreed that you have to take time to get away from your caregiving work – this can be a very short break, such as going out to sit in your car for 10 minutes (as long as your patient is safe), or it can be taking a week’s vacation. If you are caring for a family member you would need to have someone fill your spot for that week, just as you would do if you are a professional caregiver. But getting away and having time just for yourself is what’s important. One caregiver told me he likes to take a walk early in the morning by himself and just have that time of peace before the day begins.
Another way to care for your emotional needs is to recognize and know your limitations. You, as caregiver, can only do what you can do in a day – do your best to help, but do not feel guilty for not doing more. That is a guilt –trip which serves no one! Most importantly, do not feel guilty about taking care of yourself, because when you do practice self-care, both you and the patient benefit.
I found that an essential in taking care of my own emotional needs was to talk with others. Talk with trusted friends, family, a pastor, a counselor, or a support group about how you are feeling. It’s vital to me to be able to talk with someone who cares about me and how I am feeling, and who is willing to take the time to listen. Some days we just need to vent and let off steam, or cry, or laugh, or just know that we are not alone.
Any form of relaxation is ideal for taking care of your emotional needs. Try breathing relaxation techniques, meditation, yoga, or prayer. Listen to music you enjoy, read a good book, or keep a journal in which you can pour out your emotions. I sometimes enjoyed drawing or painting (even though I am not an artist), or you can try the latest trend: pick up a couple of coloring books for adults and put those crayons and colored pencils to work. I have some of these, and I will tell you that this activity is very relaxing for me.
Again, I will go back to my “Top 10 List” and remind you, as a caregiver, that balanced meals are so important. If your blood sugar is up and down all day long from skipping meals or filling in with a candy bar, your emotions are going to suffer.
I will say the same for getting a full, uninterrupted night of sleep, because when we are tired our emotions can get off-center. We don’t think as clearly when we are tired and we may also over-react to situations solely because we are not well-rested.
Also on the “Top 10 List” is the reminder not to isolate, but to stay social, as well as being able to laugh more often. All of these will feed positively into your emotional needs.
And if you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or depressed frequently, then please seek professional help. You do not need to walk this journey alone! Ask for help in whatever form is necessary to take care of your own emotional needs.
I hope I was able to answer the question adequately. There are certainly more ways to care for your emotional needs than I have listed here.
Make it a great day! And take good care of yourself! Because you are worth it!